Inspired by this post, I decided to write my own food rules.  To begin with…

1. There is no such thing as too much garlic

2. Especially if we’re talking about roasted garlic

3. “The sharper the knife, the fewer the tears”

4. You need less tools than you think, but they should be damn good ones

5. Family dinner is very important

6. Food = love

7. Sifting does have its place—whisking doesn’t aerate or get the clumps out

8. Red wine most of the time; a good Riesling or sauv blanc in the summertime

9. Grilled cheese should be buttery and crispy on the outside (AND THE CHEESE MUST BE MELTED!!!)

10.  Don’t watch TV, use your phone or computer while eating (but if you take pics of your food, I won’t judge you)

11.  All veggies taste better when roasted

12.  En papillote rocks

13. Vegetarian food isn’t boring.  Heck, it’s probably more interesting and varied than your steak and potatoes meal

14.  Sweat out those onions/ shallots GOOOODDDDD

15.  Crusty sourdough is the best

16.  Don’t come near me with ketchup, mayo, mustard, relish, or anything that smells or tastes pickled

17.  Byrne Dairy cookiewiches?  Most nostalgic dessert ever

18. Nothing beats the smell of homemade, yeasty bread

19.  COOL WHIP IS NOT THE SAME AS WHIPPED CREAM.  AHHHHRRGGGG

20. Most everything from scratch is better.  Exceptions are cream cheese and Pop Tarts

21. Use aromatic herbs and spices sparingly.  Too much herbs de Provence?  You just ruined a good dish

22.  Food processor or KitchenAid?  Both, for different reasons

23.  The temperature of your ingredients when baking influences the final product a whole lot

24.  Cold butter, hot oven.  Your new mantra for making pie crusts and laminated doughs

25.  Stuck?  Add more cream and/or butter

26. Jelly sucks.  Jam and preserves are the way to go

27. Nostalgia plays a huge role in the foods you love today

28. But… your palate is continuously changing

29. Almost everything tastes better in a wrap (as opposed to a sandwich)

30.  And most (non-alcoholic) drinks are better with straws (except water)

31. The more colors in a meal, the better it probably tastes (and it’s better for you)

32. No cats on the table

33.  Chocolate = vitamins

34. Cream(y) soups are the way to go

35. Sriracha belongs in almost everything

36. Thin crust pizza, with charred, crispy parts!

37. Dutch ovens and cast iron are classic, practical, and will last a lifetime

38. No to just about every frozen meal except some of Trader Joe’s

39. Garnish everything (ONLY EDIBLE GARNISHES, none of that piece of romaine lettuce with disgusting slice of tomato)

40. Don’t sweeten the squash!  It doesn’t need maple syrup, brown sugar, or the like

41. Bread crumbs are going to have to be pretty freaking awesome to lure me in

42. I never liked boxed Mac n’ Cheese when I was a kid, but I do now

43. Finish every dinner with dessert (or at least some good dark chocolate)

44. Homemade, not bottled salad dressing (don’t even think about serving me Thousand Island or Ranch)

45. I grew up eating pretty much just peanut butter sandwiches on white bread (Peter Pan, no jelly), and still love “PB toasties”

46. My favorite baked goods are also influenced by goodies my dad baked during my childhood: sticky buns, chocolate chip cookies, coffee cake, and apple pie

47. Chocolate peanut butter anything is bomb

48. Not a fan of cream pies and (most) cake

49. Red velvet cake doesn’t really have a special flavor, it’s just pretty from 2 tablespoons of red food dye

50. I am a pretty strict vegetarian, with my exceptions being rennet and gelatin

51. Panna cotta is the most versatile dessert, in my book

52. Going out to eat and being cooked for by loved ones are two of life’s greatest pleasures

53. I hate when people ask where I get my protein (etc.) from as a vegetarian

54. And no, vegetarians don’t just eat salads and tofu

55. We can’t be friends if you don’t like balsamic vinegar

56. A classy centerpiece on the dinner table is a must

57.  Chocolate to tame spiciness

58.  I love dinner parties, but please help with the cleanup!

59. I hate doing the dishes

60.  Potlucks are the best

61.  No pancakes for dinner, please (French toast = yes please)

62.  Making a salad dressing? One part oil to three parts vinegar/ acid

63.  Toast with eggs (over easy eggs!)

64.  Diner grilled cheese is the best (dirty flattop, anyone?)

65.  I hate picky eaters.  You can have foods you don’t like, but be adventurous!

66.  Put a timer on for everything.  The “oh, shit!” timer doesn’t always work

67.  A dish is only as good as its worst ingredient–  Molly Wizenberg

68.  I don’t agree with Julia Child that grilled veggies suck

69. Contacts do, indeed, help with tearing when chopping onions

70.  If we’re having dinner and I seem very focused on the food, don’t be offended

71.  Inform yourself on how to pronounce bruschetta, per favore!

72. #1 sin committed with baking?  Too sweet desserts

73.  Service at restaurants can make or break a meal

74.  Huevos rancheros are my favorite egg dish (and the tortillas must be crispy)

75.  A Benzomatic flame torch is the funnest kitchen tool (and surprisingly practical!)

76.  Amuse bouches are awesome

77.  Cannoli shells, like all fried foods, should not be soggy

78.  My favorite cookies are: chocolate chip, snickerdoodles, and half moon (black & white)

79. I have a penchant for beautiful cookbooks

80. French toast is my all-time favorite breakfast

81. I hate premixes and boxed mixes.  Call me a purist if you must, but baking from scratch doesn’t have to be complicated

82. Label, label, label.  Name and date, please.  FIFO all the way!!!

83. Nothing makes me feel more nostalgic than salt water taffy from Cape Cod

84. Food trucks are a bit overrated

85. Almond croissants are the best

86. Gas over electric any day

87. Salads must have a variety of textures and flavors to be interesting

88. Most fried foods make me sick (probably from dirty fryer oil), but fried dough is a classic!

89. I eat speculoos cookie butter by the spoonful.  Its only competitor is Nutella

90. I try to eat organic, fresh, in season, and local as much as possible

91. I would very much like my own Jersey cow for dairy production (they have the richest milk!)

92.  I hate cake decorating.  It’s so tedious

93. It’s macarons, not macaroons

94. Burrata= heaven

95. I love the idea of tapas, but often they’re overpriced little plates of crap

96. I’m no longer a fan of brunch.  This article convinced me.

97.  Fresh pasta is delish

98.  “We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink.”—Epicurus

99. Apple tarte tatin is my favorite dessert

100. I have learned that the way to a man’s heart is usually not through his stomach (disappointingly)

101. There is abundance here on earth, the problem is the way it is unevenly distributed

102. I hate large portions at restaurants; they seem trashy and wasteful (and unhealthy!)

103. Christina Tosi of Momofuku Milk Bar is my personal pastry hero

104. Confession: I have a cookie addiction

105. Cilantro mojo sauce, thai peanut sauce, and stuffed pasta are some of life’s finer pleasures

106. Macarons are the most fickle cookies ever.  Bouchon Bakery has the best

107. I legit have a list of foods that I want to try and foods I want to make

108. Wine glasses should not be filled all the way.  Just to where the glass starts to curve back.

109. Stop compulsively flipping your food if you want it to cook properly

110. Deb Perelman of The Smitten Kitchen is my favorite home cook (I can’t stand the Pioneer Woman anymore)

111. Muhammara= best dip on earth

112. Great company + interesting conversation + tasty food= the perfect time

113. There is no excuse for poor table manners

114. Most savory dishes are better the next day, as the flavors have a chance to mingle

115. Eat while the food is HOT! Lukewarm food is gross

116. Mise en Place!  Can’t be stressed enough

117. Take the time to enjoy your food.  Thank those who feed you.  Be grateful for what’s on your plate.  It is sacred.